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Santa’s ‘No Knock’ Lament: Twas the Night Before Christmas

Dean Ryan
21st Century Wire 

(another cautionary Christmas story)

Twas the night before Christmas…

And all Americans were asleep
Like generations before them, so many impersonate sheep
Kneeling before their masters with teleprompters & ties
Who sing, who dance, and tell sweet little lies

While the eggnog hardens & the chestnuts roast
The festive smell of evil spreads from coast to coast
In the shape of consumerism with a narcissistic approach
For one could look much dapper with a fur or leather coat

As little Timmy & Juli sleep Santa begins to creep
Into the kitchen he finds his thrills
rummaging through pharmaceutical pills

A slip, a peep, a scream and shout
All became noticeable as Santa mucked about,
He ate their turkey and drank their wine
Only to knock the tree over with his obese behind,

Mommy and Daddy begin to wake
From the atrocious noise Santa begins to make,
They call the police and hope they arrive soon
For the intruder could begin to loom

While the chorus of carolers fade away
The sound of sirens make their way
To families who the police vow to save,

Without a knock, or a warning to be heard
The militarized calvary began to surge,
With Santa guzzling gravy & the kids fast asleep
Saint Nick noticed men wearing helmets, and he began to freak

“Freeze”, “Don’t move”, words which were never said,
Now it doesn’t matter as Santa is shot in the head,
He grasps for air and begins to hold his chest,
For this is the consequence of resisting arrest,

The Cops dont resuscitate, photograph or flee
Instead with smiles and laughter they bury Santa Claus at sea,

News teams, pundits and celebrities alike
Painting the picture of an unfortunate crime
Committed by Kris Kringle
Who’s body… they still cannot find,

No jury, no trial, no questions to be asked
It ’twas still the night before Christmas…

And possibly, the last.

Author Dean Ryan is a producer and regular contributor to 21st Century Wire.


READ MORE CHRISTMAS STORIES AT: 21st Century Wire Xmas Files



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