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A Turkey Retrospective: Celebrating Thanksgiving DC Beltway-Style

21st Century Wire says…

Many of us have a lot to be thankful for, that’s for sure…

MASTER CHEF: Dubya presenting a plastic Turkey to US troops in Iraq in 2003.

Iran is thankful that there has been no pre-emptive bombing by Israel or the US (so far).

Iraq is thankful for getting rid of its US military presence this year.

Greece and Cyprus are thankful for all the EC bailouts they received which cycled directly back to the same European banks.

Bashar al Assad is thankful that there’s been no US air bombardment of Syria.

The world is thankful that a Third World War has not been triggered as a result of more outside intervention in the Middle East (so far).

Israel is thankful for its $3 billion in annual US military aid and other disbursements.

Saudi Arabia is thankful for $100 per barrel oil, 24 hour casinos in Bahrain, and that free energy technology has remained suppressed until now.

Libyans are thankful for the complete breakdown of social order, and for all the western corporations who have set-up shop in their country since 2011.

Heroin traffickers and junkies worldwide are happy that US troops will now remain in Afghanistan until 2024.

Barack Obama is thankful that he hasn’t been impeached (so far).

Eric Holder is thankful that of all the government jobs he could’ve had, he’s head of the US Department of Justice.

America is thankful that Joe Biden hasn’t had to assume the Presidency as a result of Obama’s impeachment (so far).

John Kerry is thankful that someone high up there in the establishment hierarchy still thinks he’s useful.

Wall Street is thankful that political wizards in DC raised the debt ceiling, and that they are still getting $25 billion per month in interest payments on the national debt run-up by the US government.

Jamie Dimon is thankful that he’s not sharing a jail cell with Lloyd Blankfein, and they are not having to traffick cigarettes in order to survive in a federal penitentiary (so far).

Former boxer Harry Reid is thankful that all those blows to the head received in his youth haven’t really impaired his judgement at all.

John Boehner is thankful that his perm-a-tan will make until his Christmas break in the Bahamas.

Nancy Pelosi’s cosmetic surgeon in Scottsdale, Arizona is thankful for all the business that’s come his way over the last 15 years.

Martin Bashir is thankful that MSNBC has decided not to sack him on the spot, opting for a quiet resignation, and a golden handshake after the new year passes.

Sarah Palin is thankful that she doesn’t run in the same after-hours fetish party circles as connoisseur Martin Bashir.

Most major east coast cities are thankful that MSNBC gave Al Sharpton a job, effectively keeping him off the streets, most of the time (at least for now).

Chris Matthews is thankful that happy hour across the road has now been extended to 3 hours M-F.

Donald Trump is thankful that it’s not a windy day in New York City.

Americans, and 400 million Arabs, as well as the whole of Iran, are thankful that the prospects of John McCain seeking re-election in 2016 are getting slimmer by the day.

Lindsey Graham is thankful that the average American still believes he’s completely straight.

Al Qaeda is thankful for its highly productive and working relationship with both McCain and Graham, as well as the CIA.

Bill Gates is thankful that millions of vaccines will be administered this weekend, and hundreds of tons of Monsanto GM corn will be consumed.

Bitcoin owners are thankful for the rampant fiat inflationary policies of the US Federal Reserve Bank.

Ben Bernanke is thankful for finally being able to move out of the public rage spotlight, and for all the Bicoins he collected since 2011.

Wall Mart is thankful for all the cheap Chinese import goods that allows it to rack up profits.

Michelle Obama is thankful that Americans don’t seem to mind that her and her husband take separate holidays.

George  W. Bush is thankful that he has more time to paint.

Hillary Clinton is thankful for managing to escape answering any serious questions about the fatal stand-down orders in Benghazi.

Bill Clinton is thankful for his friendship with Bono, and that Hillary has stood by his side all these years, even with all philandering, illicit recreational activities, dodgy cigars and the national embarrassment suffered after being caught with his trousers down in the Oval office.

Al Gore is thankful that, somehow, Al Jazeera managed to pay him the ungodly sum of $500 million for his failed television channel Current TV.

Piers Morgan is thankful that he’s safe in America and doesn’t have to answer to phone-hacking accusations in Britain.

And last but not least, US Congressman, Senators and White House staff – are all thankful that they are all exempt from having to actually sign-up for Obamacare.





Get Your Copy of New Dawn Magazine #203 - Mar-Apr Issue
Get Your Copy of New Dawn Magazine #203 - Mar-Apr Issue